depressing

Originally published Nov. 3, 2010

Newspapers = Debbie Downer[1]

I’ll be honest. I’m a moron. Just ask my girlfriend. Here’s more evidence: I’m in graduate school learning the fine and important craft of journalism and I’m beginning to realize: I don’t like newspapers.

Maybe I should’ve completely read one — from the first page to the last — before applying to journalism school?

Have you actually read a newspaper lately? It’s a miserable experience. It’s like reading the Book of Revelations, horrifying and apocalyptic. But even Revelations is, at least, engaging with its interesting language. The worst thing about newspapers for me is their complete utter lack of any sense of humor. It’s time newspapers lighten up. Seriously. And, yes, even Revelations has humor in it. Evidence: apparently, one day soon — according to John the Apostle — the battle of Armageddon will be started by three obnoxious war-mongering frogs (vomited out by a dragon and two beasts) who travel the world’s palaces inciting kings to mobilize for battle.[2] World leaders taking advice from frogs that whisper sweet nothings about war in their ears?!? Comedic gold! (more…)